Journals9
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Graphics Tablet!
1 min read
Got my new drawing tablet today. OH THANK GOD. Trying to art with a trackball is kind of a pain in the ass.
It's an el cheapo, but considering how rough I am on them, that's what I go for. No more clicking! My life is tap-tap-tap from now on.
It's an el cheapo, but considering how rough I am on them, that's what I go for. No more clicking! My life is tap-tap-tap from now on.
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Five Year Update
1 min read
I was just sick of seeing that post from '07.
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Nothing to see here. Move along.
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Quick Update
2 min read
I've been crazy busy the last...six months? Which is why I haven't responded to anyone, or updated anything. Got bored of learning things on my own, so I went back to college. Let other people teach me things for a while. I'm lazy.
Taking 18 credit hours this semester, hence the crazy busy part.
Current lineup:
Abnormal Psych -- Blows. The professor is lazier than I am, and hasn't lectured yet, five weeks in.
Criminal Justice: Substance Abuse
Interviews/Interrogations -- Obviously rocks.
Criminal Law
Law Enforcement Operations
Investigative Principles
I've got a pretty solid idea for a crime novel, and I think these courses will give me enough technical knowledge, of the criminal justice system, to be able to write it. ... If I stop being lazy. Writing's harder than it looks, you know.
All my art for the next few months will probably be characters from the book, really just sticking them here so I don't lose them. My filing system stinks.
Looks like my brushes were rather popular while I was gone. Neat. Glad ya'll liked them, do what ever you want with them, I'm probably never going to get around to replying to comments about them. Lazy, remember?
Taking 18 credit hours this semester, hence the crazy busy part.
Current lineup:
Abnormal Psych -- Blows. The professor is lazier than I am, and hasn't lectured yet, five weeks in.
Criminal Justice: Substance Abuse
Interviews/Interrogations -- Obviously rocks.
Criminal Law
Law Enforcement Operations
Investigative Principles
I've got a pretty solid idea for a crime novel, and I think these courses will give me enough technical knowledge, of the criminal justice system, to be able to write it. ... If I stop being lazy. Writing's harder than it looks, you know.
All my art for the next few months will probably be characters from the book, really just sticking them here so I don't lose them. My filing system stinks.
Looks like my brushes were rather popular while I was gone. Neat. Glad ya'll liked them, do what ever you want with them, I'm probably never going to get around to replying to comments about them. Lazy, remember?
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Transformus!
1 min read
Heading out today, won't be back until Monday, gonna go play in the woods with naked hippies.
If I can put my hands on a camera, hopefully I'll have some nifty pictures when I get back.
"Don't worry Mom, it's just a music festival."
"That's what they said about Woodstock."
*snicker*
If I can put my hands on a camera, hopefully I'll have some nifty pictures when I get back.
"Don't worry Mom, it's just a music festival."
"That's what they said about Woodstock."
*snicker*
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Yesterday was an experience. Both draining and amazing.
J- and I both overslept, and there were still a million things we had to do to prepare for his mother's funeral. Despite lots of rushing we still got there late. She'd always said he would be late for his own funeral, and since we had her ashes it turned out she was too. How's that for irony?
The church was tiny and southern and full of J-'s family. The ladies of the church provided food for afterwards that reminded me why I used to be Baptist. Though it had thundred through the service, the sun came out when we reached the grave site. She loved hot days, and it was a scorcher. J- and I both tucked a few things in her urn, for remembrance, and then we ran speakers from the car and played Stairway to Heaven and Cher as the hole was filled back up.
We took the long way home. Past the lake, and the campgrounds and up to the parkway. The rhododendrons were blooming so we stopped at Graveyard fields to walk the trail that winds tunnel-like through the flowering trees. Neither of us were wearing good hiking shoes, so we took them off and walked up the center of the river, from rock to rock, until we found a great boulder about a quarter mile up stream.
We sat there for a while, watched the clouds, talked about the past, the future. It seemed like a perfect moment, and I almost told him I was falling in love with him. I ran through it in my mind half a dozen time, until it almost sounded right. But then the light was fading, and we didn't have a flashlight, so we needed to head back. We stopped by the waterfall to watch the sunset. It was gorgeous and I almost told him again. But he's my best friend, and you don't just fall in love with your best friend, and if you do...there's really better timing than the day of his mother's funeral.
Halfway back to the car, on a steep part of the trail, we stopped to catch our breath and I just blurted it out. It came out kinda jumbled and with rather more stuttering than I would have liked...but there it was. He laughed at me. Said "well duh."
I didn't punch him, but it was close for a second. It's been driving me crazy for weeks, and I think he's known for ages. He'd even told his family, earlier that day. Why am I always the last to know? He caught back up with me before we got to the car and everything was cool again. There were some amazing views of the sunset on the drive back. I love living in the mountains.
We got home late, ate food that would make a nutritionist scream, and slept for about fifteen hours. Still not sure that I feel rested. These last two weeks have just been crazy, family reunion, then his mother's death, planning the funeral and...that other stuff. Transformus is in a few days and after that...back to life. J- has a new job and I'm going back to school. Everything seems to be moving so fast.
I don't believe in time, but if I did I would want it to slow down, just for a little while, so I could get my bearings. I think I'm coming to a crossroads and I don't know which way to go. I'm registered for Psychology classes in the fall, but there's still time to change it. Psychology degrees don't do much good until you have a few years of graduate school...and that's a long way off. I'm already 25 and I don't care what anyone says, that feels a little old to be starting out as a freshman.
Mom thinks I should get a quick degree, any degree, and try to find work as an artist. (And every friend and relative she polled in the social grapevine agrees. Joy.) It was always a backup plan but...I really don't want to go there. I make art because it clears my brain. I post it here so I can point my friends to it and say "Look! Pretty!" I have a prints account so I can buy it myself and just stare at it. My art is for me and I don't care if anyone else gives a damn.
If I tried to *live* off of my art, it wouldn't be a release valve anymore, it would be just another stressor. So not cool.
Or is that just me hiding? If my art was good enough, and if I could find work, then there's always the chance that I could succeed. I have an aunt and a couple cousins who are doing quite well in the art world. But that's a lot of "ifs" and a much bigger gamble. Ten years from now a degree would be a sure thing.
... And now J- is home. At least he'll make me stop rambling.
J- and I both overslept, and there were still a million things we had to do to prepare for his mother's funeral. Despite lots of rushing we still got there late. She'd always said he would be late for his own funeral, and since we had her ashes it turned out she was too. How's that for irony?
The church was tiny and southern and full of J-'s family. The ladies of the church provided food for afterwards that reminded me why I used to be Baptist. Though it had thundred through the service, the sun came out when we reached the grave site. She loved hot days, and it was a scorcher. J- and I both tucked a few things in her urn, for remembrance, and then we ran speakers from the car and played Stairway to Heaven and Cher as the hole was filled back up.
We took the long way home. Past the lake, and the campgrounds and up to the parkway. The rhododendrons were blooming so we stopped at Graveyard fields to walk the trail that winds tunnel-like through the flowering trees. Neither of us were wearing good hiking shoes, so we took them off and walked up the center of the river, from rock to rock, until we found a great boulder about a quarter mile up stream.
We sat there for a while, watched the clouds, talked about the past, the future. It seemed like a perfect moment, and I almost told him I was falling in love with him. I ran through it in my mind half a dozen time, until it almost sounded right. But then the light was fading, and we didn't have a flashlight, so we needed to head back. We stopped by the waterfall to watch the sunset. It was gorgeous and I almost told him again. But he's my best friend, and you don't just fall in love with your best friend, and if you do...there's really better timing than the day of his mother's funeral.
Halfway back to the car, on a steep part of the trail, we stopped to catch our breath and I just blurted it out. It came out kinda jumbled and with rather more stuttering than I would have liked...but there it was. He laughed at me. Said "well duh."
I didn't punch him, but it was close for a second. It's been driving me crazy for weeks, and I think he's known for ages. He'd even told his family, earlier that day. Why am I always the last to know? He caught back up with me before we got to the car and everything was cool again. There were some amazing views of the sunset on the drive back. I love living in the mountains.
We got home late, ate food that would make a nutritionist scream, and slept for about fifteen hours. Still not sure that I feel rested. These last two weeks have just been crazy, family reunion, then his mother's death, planning the funeral and...that other stuff. Transformus is in a few days and after that...back to life. J- has a new job and I'm going back to school. Everything seems to be moving so fast.
I don't believe in time, but if I did I would want it to slow down, just for a little while, so I could get my bearings. I think I'm coming to a crossroads and I don't know which way to go. I'm registered for Psychology classes in the fall, but there's still time to change it. Psychology degrees don't do much good until you have a few years of graduate school...and that's a long way off. I'm already 25 and I don't care what anyone says, that feels a little old to be starting out as a freshman.
Mom thinks I should get a quick degree, any degree, and try to find work as an artist. (And every friend and relative she polled in the social grapevine agrees. Joy.) It was always a backup plan but...I really don't want to go there. I make art because it clears my brain. I post it here so I can point my friends to it and say "Look! Pretty!" I have a prints account so I can buy it myself and just stare at it. My art is for me and I don't care if anyone else gives a damn.
If I tried to *live* off of my art, it wouldn't be a release valve anymore, it would be just another stressor. So not cool.
Or is that just me hiding? If my art was good enough, and if I could find work, then there's always the chance that I could succeed. I have an aunt and a couple cousins who are doing quite well in the art world. But that's a lot of "ifs" and a much bigger gamble. Ten years from now a degree would be a sure thing.
... And now J- is home. At least he'll make me stop rambling.
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